So this week once again I am trying some thing new… today I discovered on a friend of mine’s blog ‘The Carpenter’s Daughter’ something called Five minute Fridays which is facilitated by Kate Motaung which you can read all about here like I did… anyway today’s prompt is control… and I have 5 minutes to write about it… no guidelines, no pressure (other than the clock…) but just a reason to post something.
Control is something that I have often felt a really strong need to have, but something I have realised is almost impossible to truly hold on to.
Control is a theory, an idea, a magical concept where if gained everything will be okay. But to obtain it, and hold on to it costs a lot more than the freedom it pretends to offer. It also makes me a lot more selfish. It makes my world a lot smaller because I need to decide who, what, when and why… but the reality is, that’s not up to me. I can shape my life, make decisions and have some ‘control’ over the who, what and when… but never totally.
As I have learnt to let go of my need for control… (I am sure there will be times I try and take it back) I have felt much freer than ever before… letting go and not trying to hold everything together creates space for others in my life, it removes the stress and anxiety of living up to a false standard set by me and no one else… and it gives me freedom as I hand the control back to the one who deserves it.
Control doesn’t equal freedom they way I hope, but letting go and trusting does… this is something I need to remember.