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2019 List Update… Autumn Edition

Posted in Life, The List by

Ok round 2… List update here we go… strap in…

March

Once we hit March, our listing adventures slowed down a little, but we still crossed off 4 things… I splurged with a brunch alone and blogged at my old favourite cafe which was no. 68… but I already blogged about that here, and while I thought I might get a few more weeks to do more blogging brunches, I was mistaken as in March I also returned to school to do some relief teaching, no. 7 which was an end to my bonus child free days (completed: 15/03).

When looking up things to pop on my list this year I came across a recommendation for the dragon’s eggs in Kallista so I added it to the list and on a sunny weekend Dave, Isaac and I went for a trek through the bush to find them. It turned out to be quite a trek too as we took a wrong turn very early on and what should have been a 300m walk ended up being a 7km loop, but it was an adventure and we did find the nests… to be honest, they were actually quite hard to find and a little underwhelming after 7km… but we found them and that is all no. 46 on the list required (completed: 16/03).

Our last March list activity was no. 81, have a picnic (completed: 15/03). With daylight savings coming to an end, we decided to make the most of the light, the warmth and the oval across the road and have a fish and chip picnic… judging by our faces in the list picture… it was a success!

April

April was also a mildly successful listing month… we crossed off another 4 things… No. 9, my 50th parkrun, which you can read about here. We also crossed off our third zoo for the year venturing out to Werribee open range zoo, which was super fun and crossed no. 4 off the list (completed: 11/04). I have always had a love hate relationship with the zoo… I had bad date there as a teenager and until now when I have thought about going to the zoo it has always come with a uuuuggghhhh feeling… but going to the zoo with kids is totally different. We took Isaac to the zoo for the first time last year and he loved it and the older he gets the more he loves it. It’s nice to be able to watch him take the lead and decide what he wants to see, plus now that Dave and I are members… and we have been to all three all the trips from this point on are free… and a good day out. Welcome back to my life zoo trips.

This month we also started our brief, but enjoyable love affair with Hello Fresh! I love things that are all ready to go, and I love not having to decide what to eat… so Hello Fresh was a winner for us… but eventually we got sick of it… and it’s pretty expensive, but I now that we’ve tried it, we can keep it in the back of our minds as a back up for whenever we need it again, thanks no. 94 (completed: 08/04)

In April I also went to my only footy match for the year (no. 26, completed: 22/04)… Hawks v Geelong for Easter Monday, I always forget how much I enjoy going to the footy… but I can’t tell if it’s just catching up with my Aunite Barb because we spend a lot of the game just chatting.

May

In May I managed to cross another 4 things off the list… consistency seems to be the flavour of the list this year. I finally volunteered at park run… no.44, which you can read about here, and I took myself out for a cup of tea at Robinsons bookstore at the Glen and it was lovely. While I was there I read… although I read on my kindle which felt a little bit like a slap in the face for a bookstore, but what can you do… I am a messing person and I didn’t want to get food or tea on a book. I love bookstores… but I love bookstores with cafes even more… no. 79 done and dusted (completed: 08/05)

I don’t think it’s a surprise that I am a hard core trekie…. ok, maybe not hard core, hard core, but I do love star trek. Since finishing Next Gen last year I have watched all of Star Trek Enterprise and all of Star Trek Voyager, leaving me with Deep Space Nine and the original series, both of which I have now also finished… I told you, I love it! But all no. 29 asked for was deep space nine (completed: 09/05) so it’s done and some! I do now have a fairly large Star Trek shaped hole in my life, so if you know of a good series I should commit to, let me know.

May also gave me the single greatest renovation to our house… completing no. 86 (completed 12/05) we got a bath and it is great… I mean sure it’s mostly for Isaac and he also loves it… but I don’t think he appreciates it like I do… I also love the bath caddy we got for it… bath reading, or Netflixing with a drink… brilliant, sure my Diet Coke isn’t as fancy as the wine in the picture on the box, but it’s still pretty great.

Ok… so that was autumn… time for another break in writing… hopefully it’s not too long before I write up winter…

Our Curious Life: Week 49

Posted in Family, Life, Our Curious Life, The List by

Far out… how is the year almost done, and how the heck am I still so behind on these blogs… these were supposed to be an easier way to keep the blog up to date… but it would appear that more often than not other things have taken my time. Anyway, somehow here we are at week 49… what have we done?

Well despite this week only starting on the 2nd of December Christmas is in full swing at the George house. This week Isaac and I attended the annual Ladies night out, Isaac was our special guest, due to the fact that he is not a lady and I sung with the Grammarian Singers Christmas Concert. This is the first year in many that I have been caroling, so to speak, and while it looks different to the caroling that I used to do it has made this December feel a lot more like Christmas.

We’ve also had some non Christmas fun, we started the week with brunch to celebrate Meg’s birthday and a stroll through the botanical gardens. We celebrated Ann’s birthday on Saturday and right in the middle of the week we had out finally Thrive group for the year. We love our thrive group and they have been such an important part of our village. We also had a follow up sleep study for Isaac and you will be please to know that this time I remembered my pillow.

Oh and in a desperate attempt to finish this years list Isaac and I went to a mums and bubs session at the movies… which was not super successful… turns out Isaac does not care to watch a big TV… he would rather just crawl around on the floor. Ideally we would have done this earlier in the year, but it has actually has been very difficult to find a cinema that shows movies that aren’t super adult at their mums and bubs sessions. If we wanted to see action flicks or 50 shades of grey we would have been set, but I just couldn’t bring myself to take a baby with me. So, if any people that run the scheduling for cinemas… maybe stick with PG movies… or chick flics… leave the others for date night.

No Photos this week… too much to do, not enough time…

Our Curious Life: Week 25

Posted in Family, Life, Our Curious Life, The List by

 

 

 

Every now and then, I think I am finally getting the hang of this parenting thing… I get through a few days in a row nailing the feeds, doing some exercise and even attempting some domestic life tasks during the middle of the day nap, that I am slowly learning how to make happen… and then comes a day that completely destroys the illusion of control… there are tears from Isaac and from me… there is no routine, no order and the house looks like a small hurricane has been through it as all the of the attempts for peace… toys, food, milk are scattered through every room of the house.  That was week 25.

It has been my third week in a row without an appointment… and it is very very very strange.  I suddenly have so much more time at home… I don’t seem to be rushing from one place to another… and although there have been times where I have felt isolated and a little lonely, for the most part it has felt empowering.  I feel like I can actually get on top of some of the things I need to do.  I have time to make food for Isaac and for Dave and I, I have time to go for long walks with Isaac, I have time to sit down and blog, because I had time to do the chores, so I don’t need to feel guilty about it.  I have also realised that for me, the secret to not getting lonely when I have a day or a few days at home, is to make sure I’ve planned for it… that I know it is coming.  That I have chosen to be at home… because if I am not ready for it, I hate it and that is when things fall apart… but when I plan for it… it’s the best.

In a strange way, now that I have been at home a bit more, I am beginning to feel like I am actually on maternity leave.  I am actually able to start working out how to mum and live…  I am finally finding my feet.  Before this point, I had been waiting for something… which I guess, now that it is here, is just time… time for me to choose what to do with.  Time to enjoy Isaac and not just survive between appointments.  Time to choose who we see and actually be able to offer to do things and go places without having to work out where to fit it in… This is what I had imagined it would be like when I was still pregnant with Isaac, and even though it will be a much shorter period than I would have liked, I am glad we made it to this point before I have to go back to work.

So what have we been doing with our gift of time? Well, Dave and I cleaned out the study, so that I have my desk back, which I means I can sit here and type in a fun purpose built space just for me, rather than on the couch where I get immediately distracted.  I finally used my slow cooker.  We were given the slow cooker as a wedding present over 7 years ago… Dave has used it… but this is the first time I have… and I love it… I am a slow cooker convert.  I have even started googling the best way to tackle some condensation mold we have on some window sills.  I have also been contributing a little more with all the other household chores… and even though it’s never my first instinct.  I like the feeling of accomplishing the tasks and the clean house it leaves behind… especially now that I am spending a lot more time here.

This week we also used the last of the frozen breastmilk… I stopped expressing back in April, but thanks to a period of greater supply than demand while Isaac was in hospital, we were able to stockpile.  At one stage we had three freezers full of the liquid gold as it is often called.  But, now it has all been used.  The last bits were spread out over a number of months as Isaac only has the breastmilk when we are at home… and previously we hadn’t been home all that much… but now it’s over to solids and formula.  I am a bit sad that it is all gone.  It felt like it would last forever… but I am thankful that I was able to be able to make it and that he tolerated it… the female body is pretty gross… I mean great… it’s totally great!

We also farewelled Matt and Fee at their final service at Hobson’s Bay corps before they move.  Isaac and I caught up with my high school buddies and their kiddies, and I was reminded how blessed I am to be able to call this group of crazy strong women my friends.  We had dinner at Dave’s mum’s and I thoroughly enjoyed watching Isaac with his Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie Ness and Uncle Hugh… family is so so so good.  We practiced our sitting and rolling and I can finally say Isaac can both sit (no. 22 on his list) and roll*… (*at least in one direction).  And on Saturday morning Dave, Isaac and I tackled ArtVo at the Docklands… which is made by some supper supper clever people.  It is something that I have wanted to do for a while, thanks to all the fun photos I have seen on other peoples social media… so we finally made it out there and it didn’t disappoint… it was great and we have so many fun photos from it.  Plus it is now off the list.

So there you go… that’s week 25.

 

Our Curious Life: Week 24

Posted in Family, Life, Our Curious Life, The List by

 

 

Hello week 24, and thank you! You have been just what I needed. After getting back from Brisbane on Monday, I think it is safe to say that we were all stuffed! So this week has thankfully been very low key… I have been trying not to go out too much so that Isaac can sleep in his own bed during the day and we can focus on getting our solid meals in… three of them plus his milk feeds.

It’s been really nice to be a bit of a homebody… something I didn’t really expect. When I found myself in a similar situation last week, I found it all a little disconcerting. Having nothing planned felt uncomfortable, but this week it has been refreshing and restoring. I feel a little more on top of my motherhood list… the food situation seems to be improving and I am getting the hang of a couple of regular naps and I’m trying to make the most of Isaac’s awake time rather than just spending it wondering if he should be having a nap. One of the benefits of the big weekend has been a tired little boy, so the naps have been a little longer this week which has meant I have had some time to try and catch up on some blogging, which has also been wonderful.

But we haven’t spent the whole week at home, we also did a couple of fun things. On Thursday and Friday Isaac and I checked out the updated Glen shopping centre… firstly with mother’s group and then with my mum. After mother’s group on Thursday night Isaac and I went to the brand new woollies to grab some food for dinner, I also decided that despite having a loaded up pram with Isaac and the groceries I had already gathered, I could indeed manage a slab of diet coke as well, seeing as though they were on sale. When I made it to self serve to pay I started with the coke so that I could put it down ready to carry to the car once I had organised everything else. As I swung the slab up to the scanner, the side feel out and cans went everywhere. Some busted open creating small puddles of diet coke and showering Isaac and I in a fine diet coke mist… he thought it was hilarious… I was mortified and quickly asked someone to come and help… we went back and got a more secure box and thankfully made it home without another incident… but it wasn’t quite the quick shopping experience I had expected. But as a fun side effect, now every time Dave or I make the noise of a fizzing can Isaac giggles.

We also had dinner with two lots of very good friends, one as a goodbye, and the other as a welcome home. On Friday, we had dinner with our friends Rachel and Dustin… their’s was the welcome home as they have just returned from a holiday. We had such a nice night, delicious food, great company and an open fire… perfect for a freezing cold Melbourne Friday night.  Earlier in the week, on Tuesday, we had dinner with our friends Matt and Fee before they head over to Canada for a couple of years for work. Matt and Fee have been friends of ours for a very long time. In fact, I think Fee might have been one of the first people I confessed my love of Dave to when I was still a teenager, so it seems appropriate that she was the one that conducted our Wedding a few years later. They are the type of friends that keep you accountable and check in to make sure you are spiritually on track. Every time I hang out with them I come away thinking about how intentional I am in my faith and devotions and what I need/want to be doing better in that area of my life. Every time we hang out with them there is also a lot of laughing, they are super fun. This visit was no different, and while it might be the last one we will have on this side of the world for a while, I know that the distance and the change in chapter won’t really change our friendship. We will miss them a lot, but the world doesn’t seem that small any more thanks to the power of the internet (which I still think is kind of magic).

On Saturday we used some gold class vouchers to go to the movies and because it was an unplanned adventure, we took Isaac with us. We saw Incredibles 2, which means that Isaac and I, both got to cross seeing a Disney movie with each other off our lists (no. 17 on Isaac’s list and no. 71 on mine). He was a dream, watching at least half (the beginning and then end) and having a nice nap in the middle… seriously this kid is a superstar! I also crossed no. 1 off my list this week, using my time at home to conquer folding fitted sheets… so far I have only attempted Isaac’s cot and bassinet sheets, but they are still fitted and I feel like I have done enough that I could transfer my new skills over to a real size fitted sheet!

Thanks week 24 for letting us breathe again.

26weeks & 56minutes…

Posted in Curious George, Faith, Family, God, Life by

Ok… it’s been a while… months in fact.. but there has been a really good reason…

When I posted my last blog… right before my birthday, I was 9ish weeks pregnant and pretending to be upbeat and excited about my birthday, rather than crawling back into bed to sleep the whole of the first trimester away.  I had been waiting to post about the second little baby George because I was really really nervous about letting people know.  I was scared that we would lose this baby as well, and I wasn’t sure how I would ever be able to cope losing another child let alone telling the world that it had happened. So… after losing Josh at 24 weeks last year, and the doctors telling us that if we could get to 26 weeks the baby would have a much better chance, 26 weeks became my magic number.  The number after which I would tell the world about baby George no. 2, I would start clearing out the room again and I would start purchasing things we would need like a cot and pram etc. It was the number that I needed to get to before I would let myself believe things would be ok… that we would get to keep this baby and I could let myself breathe…

26 weeks was 9 weeks ago… and the last 9 weeks have been quite a rollercoaster. In week 25 of my pregnancy I was admitted to hospital for bed rest in the hope that it would delay baby George from making an unexpected arrival. After the initial shock of potentially having to stay in hospital lying down until November, I had settled in and was ready for the long hall and secretly pretty excited that I could ride out the rest of winter in air-conditioned comfort, because if all went according to plan, I wouldn’t be leaving until it was pretty much summer… but it wasn’t to be… On Tuesday 1st August, 56 minutes into week 26 Isaac Ezekiel arrived… 35cm long and 827g.

Isaac arrived in a hurry, and just like his brother, had turned around at the last minute to make his entry more dramatic, needing an emergency caesarean as he had decided to come feet first. But, he arrived, breathing and even letting out a small cry which is a moment that I will never forget. Despite all the panic and fear that I felt that night, hearing that cry and knowing he was alive brought so much relief.  That night Dave and I took up a joint residence, in many ways, at the hospital, as even though we could go home after a week, Isaac had to stay.

Once again our lives were turned upside down. I had been expecting that taking a baby home… preferably at full term, would change our lives totally, but I wasn’t expecting the ups and downs of having a baby that had to stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It has been so bitter-sweet visiting him, first in his isolette (humidicrib) and now in his cot… because all the emotion of having a baby is still there, but you can’t just pick him up, you can’t hold him until he falls asleep, and you are always wondering what will happen to him.  Even little things like changing his nappy is quite a task through the little arm holes in the cot, especially if you have tiny little arms like mine. Yet, he is here, he is alive and he is ok… and that is all that really matters.

Fast forward to today and Isaac is still doing well, I think I would even say really well… although there is still a huge part of me that is still waiting for something awful to happen that will take him from us. Dave and I have spent every day of the last 9 weeks traveling from home to the hospital and back again between breast pump expressions, baby store trips and tiny pockets of sleep. Our lives look and feel totally unrecognisable, and while that is probably true… and maybe even standard, for most new parents, I feel like our newborn phase one, the phase while he is in hospital, would have been totally unfathomable to me, if you had have described it to me before now.

Isaac is so strong and much braver than me. He has already faced so much and it is impossible to describe how proud I am of him. There is still fear… fear about whether or not his difficult and dramatic start to life will have any impact on him as he grows… wondering if everything has continued to develop and grow the way it should have if he was still inside, but there is also hope and faith.

Just before we found out we were having Isaac, I had been praying a lot about having children and really felt like I had to give my desperate desire for a family over to God. I knew that my faith was bigger, and my relationship with Him was more important than the plans I had for my own life.  That ultimately God’s plans for Dave and I were better… even if they didn’t look like the ‘good’ plans I had come up with… so one night a church event, in tears, I handed it all back, making peace with the fact that if God called me to follow him childless… I would. Minutes after praying this alone and with Dave, a man, whose name I do not know, asked to pray with us and unprompted, specifically prophesied children in our future… at the time we didn’t know we were already pregnant, but we knew there would be a child… a promised child and that was enough. So when we found out we were pregnant again we were pretty excited and I really felt that this was the promised baby I would get to keep.

So when Isaac arrived so early and so little I had to choose to hold on to the promise I had for him and to remember that God loved him even more than I did, and that even though it didn’t look the way I thought, protection and promise would look… that God was holding him and knitting him together just as He said he would.  This choice to trust and declare good things for his little life were why we chose to name him Isaac Ezekiel… Isaac means “he will laugh, he will rejoice” and Ezekiel means “God will strengthen”.  We liked them together and thought of them as a bit of a prophetic declaration over his life, regardless of what we could see then and can see now.

It’s really hard to trust and hope when things have gone so badly before and when you are a bit of a control freak and think you know how things should be… but I have had to learn to… and God has been faithful.  Isaac is here and he is healthy and now he is getting bigger and stronger everyday.  In fact so dramatic has his improvement been in the last week and a bit, Dave and I have had to get a wriggle on with setting up his room, because he could be coming home very soon. Most likely we will need to wait until his due date, so still early November, but in the chaos of the last 9weeks… that’s now only 5 weeks away… and then phase two, the newborn at home phase will begin…

Between now and then there is still a lot to do, finish the room, learn to breastfeed, work out what the heck we are doing… oh and the list, I haven’t forgotten about that… its been buzzing away in the background… but it was time to write, time to share and time to add Zac to the Curious George family.  Hopefully now as we settle into this new routine of being parents, I will get back to blogging a little more regularly, because I have missed it… but it was hard to know where to start… but here it is… the last 6 months of our crazy and very unpredictable life…

170929_GBlue_Isaac_2516_Lge

P.S Until recently I hadn’t read the original Curious George book… we read it to Zac in the hospital… and it’s pretty nuts… who just takes a monkey from the jungle and expects it to be house trained?

P.P.S This wonderful photo is thanks to Heartfelt, who, once again, have given Dave and I a beautiful gift of photographic memory of this really difficult chapter in our families lives… they are truly wonderful.

29 things before 30

Posted in Life by

So tomorrow I turn 30… and just like every other birthday for at least the last 10 years I am not excited about getting another year over… but this year I feel a little more ready for it.  30 has been something that has been looming for a while… 30 years in fact, but more so in the past 12 months.  Something that I have spent a lot of time thinking about and something that I have finally decided won’t be as bad as I think it will be.  So I thought I would continue my new tradition (from last year) to take a moment before it happens to reflect on the year that was 29 before it is gone altogether.  But before I can reflect on the last 12 months… because 30 is also the end of a decade… it only seems right to look at the last 10 years as well…

20-30 is a big time of change… a lot of growing up… and while I don’t think I have being an adult down pat yet, I certainly feel more like an adult than a young adult.  I am not sure if it’s my new found love of a quiet night in? Or my change in thinking around having to stand up and make a change if I don’t like something… but I feel like where I am at now, even though it may not be where I am forever, is an achievement…

20-30 has also been home to some of my happiest times as well as my most challenging…  I have changed and grown, physically, mentally and spiritually.  And while I wish I hadn’t grown quite as much physically… unless I could have gained some extra height… I am thankful for the lessons I have learned and the paths I have taken that have made my faith and mind stronger.

I have done so much in my 20s that I am not sure how my 30s will catch up, but I hope that they do… although, I am hoping our hardest path has already be walked… and the rocky patches ahead will not be quite as devastating.

Since I turned 20 I have…

  • Completed… well attempted to complete my very first list (2007) and since attempted 8 more… I am currently on my 9th
  • Returned to China to hang out with Dad and cross ‘Hong Kong Disney Land’ off my life long Disney visit bucket list (2007)
  • Had my life outlook changed by a uni placement to Bourke (2008)
  • Had 2 massive 21st parties
  • Finished my Bachelor of Nutrition and Dietetics (2008)
  • Started running the Kids Church at Church and had the most epic YP Anniversary of all time with ‘Talkin’ about my generation’ (2009)
  • Continued my red dirt obsession with trips to Broken Hill (2009) and Uluru (2016)
  • Got a job in the country… Castlemaine to be exact… moved out of home and spent a year blogging about it (2009-2010)
  • Had my 5 year and 10 year High School Reunions (2009 & 2014)
  • Starred in Box Hill Salvos “Nativity Play’
  • Got my first iPhone
  • Ran 2 Half Marathons (2008 & 2013)
  • Meet a cute little guy named Dex… and he moved in (2009)
  • Bought my first new car and said goodbye to my faithful Saabie (2010)
  • Experienced some snapshots of Europe… first with the Big Band in Sweden in 2010… then with Davo in 2015/2016
  • Got Engaged (2010) and Married my very own Prince Charming (2011)
  • Auditioned for Broadway (2010)
  • Visited Disneyworld with my new Husband (2011)
  • Visited NZ and my NZ family a couple of times (2012 & 2014/2015)
  • Watched one of my little brothers get married (2012)
  • Said goodbye to my second job as a Dietitian and moved to my current workplace at Link, where I have been able to expand my dietetics skills in to Marketing and IT (2013)
  • Been Bridesmaid for 2 of my best friends (2014 and here)
  • Brought my first house (2014)
  • Graduated from uni twice… one for dietetics and then again for my teaching degree (2014)
  • Watched both of my parents get remarried (2014, 2015)
  • Worked out how to long distance best friend (2015)
  • Recorded my first CD… well sung vocals on a Big Band CD (2017)
  • Became a mum and had to say goodbye to my little man (2016)
  • Got back up (2017)

A big 10 years… but I think the past 12 months have challenged who I am at my core more than any year before and I think lots of the things that I have done over the past decade have somehow prepared me for what happened…  But there has also been lots to be thankful for and I have learnt a lot… so in my new tradition… here are 29 things I have learned, loved and lived in the past year that have helped me prepare for 30…

  1. Birthdays are excellent… No matter how much I have been nervous about embracing them… they are always fun… especially when Dave helps to plan them… tomorrow will be good.
  2. Epic milkshakes are indeed epic… and often overwhelming, they should be consumed with caution… and preferably with no other sources of lactose.
  3. Having a celebrity like a post… even if they are a fake one… is more exciting than it should be… they are just people…but it was Russell Coight
  4. Dave makes driving a bus look grand
  5. Trimester 1 of pregnancy is the worst… it is hard keeping a secret, especially a when you feel like poop and you have to convince everyone else you are fine… lets hope that the next one is somehow easier.
  6. Jells Park is way more beautiful than I ever gave it credit for growing up… I am really glad that it is my local Parkrun venue.
  7. Dex looks great in a bow tie
  8. Family is messy and hard to fit on a wall, but I wouldn’t change any of it
  9. Pregnancy cravings are weird… but turkish delight milkshakes are the bomb
  10. Having Josh was the best thing I have ever done, but it was also the hardest knowing he wouldn’t stay.  Even if I knew what would happen I wouldn’t have swapped those 24weeks for anything.
  11. Colouring really is as good a distraction as they say it is…
  12. I still love my list, and I am really enjoying the simplicity of it this year, lots of local fun.
  13. 29 has been a year of home, embracing family, learning to breathe and dreaming for the future.
  14. This time last year I wrote ‘I am stronger and more capable then I think… I should remember this more often’, this is more true now then ever before.
  15. Whatsapp is great, but seeing your bestie face to face is greater, especially when you have time off to be able spend with them.
  16. I like being in the IT and Marketing teams… I also really like teaching.  I am pretty blessed to work for such great places that encourage me to grow and learn new skills.
  17. Dancing in a strawberry suit isn’t as embarrassing as you think it will be, you should just embrace it.
  18. Dave is still the best person to have ever entered my life.  He is strong, wise and loyal and I love him more than ever… plus he gets even better looking with age… who would have thought that was possible.
  19. I am getting better at throwing things out… lots of times you have to get rid of something old to make way for the new.  I don’t need to be a hoarder to keep the memories.
  20. I have good people around me, my community if vast and wide and I often take it for granted, but Dave and I could not have gotten through the last 6 months without them.
  21. I love the country
  22. I love the AFLW and I am glad I was part of the first season.
  23. I love singing in a recording studio… it makes me feel like a superstar.
  24. New cameras are the bomb… but I desperately need to improve my photography skills.
  25. Practicing gratitude is important… my new daily habit of writing down 3 things is helpful… it’s making me see the good… I should keep this going because I still can’t make happiness, or just choose to be happy, but I can choose to fill my life with people, things and places that make me happy, I can choose to see the good and I can choose to seek better.
  26. I still love blogging… and I think I am getting better at it… I suppose that’s the plus side of honesty.
  27. I love to worship… I love learning about worship and I love Jesus… He is the only one worthy of my worship.
  28. My plans for my life might be good, but as hard as it is to accept sometimes, His ways are better.  Life often seems unfair sometimes and we can’t always see the bigger picture… but we have to trust.
  29. I am still getting better at looking after myself, but just like last year I still have a long way to go… but this remains a top priority.  I can’t do what I am called to do, if I can’t function.

29 you have been a challenge, you have been hard, but you have been worth it all… in fact 20s you have been great… better than I had ever hoped and totally different from what I expected.

I am holding on to the promise that my 30s will bring better things… I hope that I continue to learn more, love more and live more… 30 I am now ready for you.

Calling me home

Posted in Life by

This weekend Dave and I have been lucky enough to stay at ‘Somerset Cottage’ in Daylesford.  A refurbished and restored miners cottage that is just 100% perfect.  Even as I am typing this I have had to check that we weren’t just living in a home beautiful or country living magazine photoshoot, but that this beautiful little place is real.  It is cozy and picturesque and exactly what we needed, so thank you to the wonderful friends that made this happen.

But this blog isn’t about the cottage, or the lovely people in my life, but actually about a feeling I had as Dave and I drove up the western hwy on our way to our little escape.

For a really long time I considered myself a ‘city’ girl, the thought of being out in the country without the shops, the lights and the hustle and bustle was something that did not appeal to me at all.  That was until I moved to Castlemaine in 2009, where I discovered deep down I love the country.  It turns out I can live without the lights, the 24hour shops and the pressure that comes with everyone being ‘on and available’ all the time.  I love the relaxed pace, the friendliness of the people and the beautiful, beautiful scenery… in fact I really just love it all.  This transition probably actually started on that fateful uni placement to Bourke and was just confirmed in Castlemaine, but either way, it is something that has never changed back since moving back to Melbourne.  In fact my love for all things country has just become stronger since leaving… particularly my obsession with country music.

This change of attitude towards country living is something that I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about.  I do often think back to my time in Castlemaine fondly, and will talk to anyone about how much I love it if I get just a hint of them being interested… but it’s not as though I have been desperate to return, or to pack up my life here and move straight back.  I think I have just fallen right back into my city default mode and have my country life as a little memory that I love to take a minute to reflect on, but not something that soaks up my time anymore.  Yet as we drove towards Daylesford something strange happened.  The closer we got, the bigger the farms were, the taller the trees, the lighter I felt.  I don’t often take much notice of things like this, I mean, sure I notice if I am happy or sad, but I don’t often notice the process of this happening.  But on Friday night as we drove… I got happier, the stress of the week (although it hadn’t been any more stressful than normal), the business of life seemed to disappear and it was replaced with a nostalgic feeling of hope, safety and goodness.  This ‘longing’ for home was also noted by my phone, which highlighted the area as ‘home’ on the map, using an old addressed still saved in the depths of my data.

I am not really sure what this means because I love my Melbourne life… and I don’t get the same feeling on my way to a weekend away down at Inverloch, which I love just as much… but it just felt so good… it felt like home and freedom all packaged beautifully.  Maybe it was the country… or more specifically the goldfields region calling me home.  Maybe I was just under more stress than I realised and my mind was just excited about a weekend away from obligation… who knows, but l liked it and I need some more country living in my life.

P.S… this is out little Cottage and some pictures from our time away where I also got to cross no. 26 off the list…

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It’s 2017 List Time!

Posted in Life, The List by

Hey 2017, I have been waiting for you… waiting for a good reason to start lots of things again… all the usual suspects, like getting my eating and exercise on track, but also a brand new list.  I am really excited about this year and it’s list.  I am not really sure why, but it has a good feeling about it, which is enough for me to go with.

This year will be my 9th list… 9, can you believe it? That will take me to 900 things that I have ‘listed’ and attempted.  You can check out all the old lists by clicking the year they were attempted here: 2006, 2007, 2010, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 or 2016.  This year’s list is once again full of little goals, 100 of them all up… Some big, some small, some fun, some serious, some new, some re-dos, some very deliberate and some very very random but all things that at some stage last year I decided I wanted/needed/should do this year.

I really love doing these lists each year and the last couple of years I have been lucky enough to have been on some overseas adventures, in fact last year we started the year in Venice and the year before we were in New Zealand, so I jam packed those lists with the things we would do while we were away.  But this year we are regrouping and staying home, which means the list looks a little more like the lists of old… all home grownish, localish fun which means if you live near me… or want to visit me, you too can join the listing fun.  Seriously let me know if you want to help me… crossing things off the list is always more fun with someone else.

I am also hoping (like every other year) that 2017 will be the year that I get more consistent with blogging it when it happens… so that I can remember them all, not just all the big ones… anyway, that’s enough rambling about the list… here it is:

  1. Play some table tennis
  2. Learn to make a paper crane
  3. Do something special to celebrate my 30th
  4. Go on a book blind date
  5. Make Mrs Kaye’s cookies
  6. Have High Tea
  7. No more games in the morning… even if I am sick
  8. Try again
  9. Keep getting closer
  10. Go back to park run
  11. Go back to work
  12. Go back to school
  13. Paint something
  14. Build something
  15. Drink a bottle of water most days
  16. Have a ‘no screen time’ day or hopefully a couple of them
  17. Make some smores
  18. Go on a picnic
  19. Find out how floating lanterns work… how they are made etc.
  20. Go to the drive in
  21. Go Camping
  22. Go on a  road trip
  23. Swim in the ocean
  24. See a musical
  25. Do a fun run
  26. Have a spa of some sort
  27. Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years
  28. Help change something at home
  29. Start learning guitar again
  30. Get a haircut
  31. Take a photo everyday
  32. Exercise at least 3 times a week and make the most of my gym membership
  33. Send 20 hand written cards
  34. Eat/make paella
  35. Bake a lemon meringue pie
  36. Get a massage
  37. Participate in a scavenger hunt
  38. Do some trivia
  39. Try those multi fill water bombs and have a water fight
  40. Remember the important things: God, Dave, Health, Family and Communication
  41. Get better at shopping for my body
  42. Watch Hocus Pocus
  43. Go on a bush walk
  44. Use my new outdoor reading chair
  45. Blow some bubbles
  46. Play a board game
  47. Play a video game… not on my phone
  48. Go berry picking
  49. Have 5 different milkshake dates
  50. Try yoga again
  51. Visit a museum/gallery
  52. Blog regularly
  53. Seriously… be on time
  54. Get to work earlier and leave on time
  55. Keep my photo storage up to date
  56. Keep my computer up to date
  57. Meet Baby Lewis
  58. Try to make Turkish Delight… or just eat some real Turkish Delight
  59. Read 16 books
  60. Read at least 3 christian/devotional books
  61. Bake/cook something from 6 different countries
  62. Visit 3 different national parks
  63. Create an outdoor cinema in the backyard
  64. Go to a country town I have never been to before
  65. Watch a sunrise
  66. Get my car washed properly and then wash it least 5 times
  67. Read the book of Joshua
  68. Find some new blogs I like and read them regularly
  69. Cross at least one thing off my list each month
  70. Go to the fancy McDonald’s in Clifton Hill
  71. Finish cleaning out the spare room
  72. Three words… ‘home cooked meals’
  73. Have a spend nothing day at least once a month
  74. Get up at 7am on work days
  75. Make a quiche
  76. Have a non liquid breakfast at least twice a week
  77. Finish Gilmore Girls
  78. Check out Hungarofest
  79. Stop using Eastlink… just leave earlier
  80. Find out if our house has a legit hidden fireplace… or just get some proof of hope
  81. Find out where our local swimming hole is and use it
  82. Remember Joshua
  83. Try the crochet thongs/uggs
  84. Stay at the Langham
  85. Try Danny’s Donuts
  86. Finish sorting and storing the VHS tapes
  87. Blog about being thankful at least once a month
  88. Get my steps up again… ideally to >10,000 per day
  89. Learn how to play a new game
  90. Go interstate
  91. Get both the Europe and New Zealand Photo books ready for print
  92. Finish watching Star Trek Next Gen
  93. Go on a romantic get away
  94. Try 4 more local cafe’s in the search of our new local
  95. Finish my sentence a day book
  96. Improve my 5km time
  97. Do some colouring
  98. Go to bed earlier
  99. Clean out the Kikki.K folders
  100. Be deliberate about filling the house with good things like flowers and music

And there you have it… 2017 I am so glad you are here!

Dear Joshua

Posted in Faith, Family, Life, Love by

Dear Joshua,

I don’t really know how to write this blog/letter… It’s been a month since we met you and had to leave you… and I still don’t know how we even start to say goodbye?

Well I guess we start by saying this isn’t the end… mummy and daddy will be with you again one day.  Time will go so fast for you, partying up in heaven, but we will need to wait a little longer.  Either way we will be together again one day.  I will be able to hold you again and kiss your nose.  Daddy will be able to tuck you in and tell you how good you are, and we will both be able to tell you how much we love you.

Even though we didn’t get to meet you in person we are so proud of you.  Of your cheeky and defiant nature that we saw at your scans.  Of your perfect little body with your beautiful face and perfectly long hands and feet just like your dads.  And of your appetite… Turkish Delight milkshakes and pink donuts won’t be the same now that you are gone.

You were so strong and courageous, you held on for so long, right up until daddy told you it was ok, that if you needed to go to heaven without us, you could go.  Thank you for being so brave and making that tough decision for us.  We aren’t surprised that you chose heaven, I have heard it’s pretty incredible, but I really wish you had have stayed.  Earth could have been pretty fun too.

Daddy and I are so sad that you aren’t going to be staying with us.  This isn’t what we wanted, but we are so glad that we got to meet you just for a moment.  I am heartbroken that I never got to hear you cry or laugh or watch you fall sleep, but I loved every moment I spent with you, holding you and soaking it all in.

Life is really hard now that we have known you and had to say goodbye.  Our house feels empty without you and I feel like I have lost part of my purpose.  For the 24weeks I carried you, my life was all about you, keeping you safe and growing you to be strong, but now you are gone. We are trusting that Jesus has saved both you and us from something even more devastating, but right now, not having you here really stinks.  Even though I only knew you for a short time, part of me feels like I have known you my whole life and losing you has left a pretty big hole in my heart.

My precious and perfect Joshua, be strong and courageous, don’t be afraid, don’t be discouraged.  Remember the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.  We will try and be strong and courageous without you, we probably won’t be as convincing as you, but we will try.

Please know how much we love you and cherish you.  You are the best and most perfect thing your dad and I have ever created, or ever had the privilege of calling ours and we are so proud of you, every inch, every kick and every minute we had with you.

Thank you for making me a mummy,

I love you my sweet one.

Rest well,

Mummy