Category Archives: Faith

It’s Not About How I Feel

Posted in Faith, God, Life by

As I think I have previously mentioned on this blog times have been changing at my salvo corps, for the past 8 weeks while we have been leaderless, the young adults have been stepping up and having a go at preaching, coordinating and generally getting involved, and it has actually been really good, like seriously good. I have been blown away by the things I have learnt, the hidden talents of my friends and by the way that God has just so very very very clearly had His hand on the whole thing, guiding, prompting and using us in a huge way. In fact part of me is a little sad that it’s all over, but I think that it’s actually just the beginning… but that’s a different blog.

Over the last 8 weeks even though its been very powerful and we have (with lots of help from the big man of course) ‘pulled it off’ so to speak, there have been lots of frustrating times, challenging situations and sometimes I just haven’t wanted to do it any more. Last night I shared a video about worship which thanks to facebook’s news feed I had found, which talked about how we just go through the motions and make worship about us… in fact you can watch it for yourself…

At the end of the video I talked about the fact that sometimes I feel like just going through the motions and getting my ‘worship face’ on because I just couldn’t be bothered giving it my all, but that actually God calls us to more and that He deserves more, so much more. I was then reminded by a very wise man that it’s not actually about how we feel at all. In fact what we feel like doing is often irrelevant because God is bigger than feeling. This idea is something that I had heard before, but I had forgotten, being the emotional, feelings based person I am. I am so glad that God is bigger than my feelings and that he is steadfast in His love. I am so glad that he doesn’t actually call us to be ‘in the mood’ but instead just to be obedient and that he actually honours our faithfulness when we are obedient even when we don’t feel like it. I am glad that God’s brain isn’t based on the flippant emotions that I feel… I am glad that he does have emotion and that we are able to experience his emotion, both good and bad, but that it isn’t his emotion that calls the shots, but instead his heart of love, justice and mercy… I am also thankful that he used his obedient servant to remind me of this.

Who I am…

Posted in Faith, Friendship, Life by

I have been thinking this morning about the ‘theme’ of my blog… that is it’s appearance, and I am not sure I like it… it doesn’t feel like me… So I have started the process of finding just the right theme, just the right first impression for the people that read my blog.

I think that one thing I really wanted with this blog was to be a little more honest, rather than it just a glorified primary school diary.  But I guess like anything else on the internet it’s easy to hid behind graphics, words and the fact that you can really tell the world anything that you want to and no one can actually check that it’s true.  I guess the hard thing for me is that you actually know who I am, the people that read this are usually my friends and family, the people that I see on a regular basis, or I guess when it comes down to it the people whose options I care about, so it’s a scary thought to let people in.  I guess by sharing my life I also share the stories and the relationships of those around me and that is a scary thought too because then my words impact more than just me.  I guess too, I have a healthy sense of internet security and don’t really want to go into all the details of my life because I know that once it’s on the internet… it stays on the internet.  So I guess I am guarded in how much I share about the things that really challenge me coz I don’t want them to come back an bit me in the butt so to speak.  The thing is though when I look at the blogs I like to read… they are the ones that are raw, they talk or personal struggle and triumph, of pain and joy, and they actually allow me to share someone’s life with them, to learn from what they have learnt… and that’s what I want.  I know this isn’t the first time I have blogged about this, but it’s something that I don’t think I have achieved since I last posted it, but I am freshly inspired… thanks to a few of my blogging buddies and their courageous honesty.

So here is too another fresh start of sorts… to a more honest blog, one that actually shares my thoughts not just my deeds. One that actually says this is me… this who I am.   A blog that actually shares my curiosities about life… not just my whinging, but one that asks questions and shares the answers as I find them… or the new questions I have on my quest.