31 things before 32

It’s that time of year again, the night before my birthday… and today like most years I have spent some of the day reflecting… I’m not sure what it is about birthdays, but they always a good time to take stock of the year that was, the things that I have learnt and the ways I have grown. So just like the last couple of years, I’ve popped it into a little list… a list of 31 things to be thankful for, to acknowledge or just remember before I turn 32 tomorrow.

  1. So far my 30s are great… tough and exciting, but somehow much more satisfying.
  2. The coffee thing was just the sleep deprivation… I am back on full time tea.
  3. I really like being outside… I often forget this though… I should make a point to remember because it is good for my body and my soul.
  4. When I listen to my own dietetic advice… it works…
  5. Finding the balance between working and being a good mum and wife is hard, it’s hard on my brain and hard on my heart, but the more I do it, the more I get used to it… but it’s not really easier.
  6. I really enjoy music… listening to it and being part of it.
  7. Watching kids learn things we take for granted is the best… how the world works, what things do and how to use their muscles and brains.. I could watch Isaac work out life forever…
  8. It’s important to be deliberate about including people in your life… if you aren’t they will disappear. Make time for the ones you love.
  9. Birds are actually pretty amazing… I still don’t want to touch them, but I like to know what they are.
  10. Making time for reading is also really good for my heart and my soul
  11. Stats, facts and competitions, even if they are just with myself make me achieve more in a moment than I do without the push.
  12. Being deliberate about family time has to be a priority… Dave and Isaac are my most important people and making memories with them is the best way to spend my free time.
  13. Exercise and learning are addictive
  14. Play centres are dirty… and they set off all my germ phobias, but they are fun and Isaac loves them so we will keep going.
  15. Swimming laps can clear the mind and bring clarity… but it does come with an epic google eye ring.
  16. I am much handier with a needle and thread than I ever thought I could or would be.
  17. Cuddles from Isaac are the greatest gift.
  18. I am so thankful for those who have gone before me who have fought for justice so that I don’t have to.
  19. Time passes quickly, writing things down as they happen is the best way to remember and savour them.
  20. I still love the Langham and everything about it.
  21. Traveling with a baby is both easier and harder… I am much less stressed about having the things I need and much more stressed about everything else.
  22. Grandparents are lifesavers that make the world spin.
  23. Sometimes it is impossible to say thank you enough.
  24. I will never stop listing.
  25. I am still surprised by how strong my body is and the more I push it, the stronger it gets.
  26. I value quiet time more than I ever thought I would… silence is magic to my ears
  27. Distance is nothing between besties, but it doesn’t make it any less exciting when you find out she will be home soon enough
  28. I am still more attached to my phone than I would like… but I think I am getting better with it slowly
  29. If I just exercise in the morning, it will be over and done with and I won’t have to think about it again for the rest of the day… I should do this
  30. I have more than I need, I always have… I need to take time to remember this often.
  31. The hard bits of life make you appreciate the sweet bits all the more.

Here we go 32… lets do this.

Our Curious Life: Week 52… Kind of.

 

 

 

So, we’ve made it to the end of the year… how exactly I am not really sure, but here we are… and I’m calling it… I tried no. 27 and it just didn’t working for me… not at all, and despite my best plans, it is highly likely that I am not going to catch up on my weekly blogs… so I am not going to try anymore.  This list item seemed like a really good idea and the blogger that I pinched the idea from made it look pretty easy, but it turns out, right now, it’s actually really hard to achieve.  So in lieu of the missing weekly blogs I thought I would do an end of year list wrap up… because let’s face it, that what we all really want to know before the new list drops anyway.

So what have we crossed off this year… well lots… and like most of the updates before this, if it was lucky enough to make it into a blog of its own… well you can click the link… and if it wasn’t haven’t you can read it here… ok here we go, this could be a long one.

  1. Learn how to fold a fitted sheet – completed: 14/06/2018
  2. Learn how to make 3 different balloon animals – completed: 09/12/2018
    For my birthday this year my wonderful friend Pheebs included a balloon making kit in my birthday gift and while it took me almost all year to get around to I finally made some balloon animals.  I made an Octopus, a Giraffe, a Dog and a Fish… and to be honest they weren’t very good.  It turns out my fear of popping the balloon completely out weighed my desire to learn more.
  3. Watch the never ending story – completed: 20/07/2018
    This is pretty self explanatory… I watched it, I enjoyed most of it… it’s off the list
  4. Watch some ER… maybe a season or two – completed: 07/08/2018
    This is also pretty self explanatory, but I have to admit I found it a lot more confronting than I remembered.  Maybe its my new ‘mum hormones’ or maybe its our journey over the last couple of years, but sick people and medical emergencies are just a little to real for me and I get very involved very quickly… I have realised that I need to be a little more choosy with my television viewing.
  5. Spend a weekend in country vic – completed: 27/10/2018
    It’s probably not quite what I was imaging when I popped this on the list… I was certainly hoping for something like the wonderful weekend we had in Daylesford last year… but this year we have really only stayed in Inverloch and because we stay there fairly regularly it doesn’t really count.  We did however spend a full Saturday in Bendigo with the Big Band, we even got to go for a little drive out to Lake Eppalock between gigs and I got that same sense of returning home… there is just something magic about central Victoria.  I did a terrible job of taking photos that day… so the picutre is of Isaac during our night gig.
  6. Have some family photos taken – completed: 18/01/2018
  7. Go to a wedding – completed: 13/01/2018
  8. Get a full nights sleep – completed: 31/05/2018
  9. Go down to Inverloch – completed: 10/03/2018
  10. Go camping
  11. Remember to take Isaac’s milestone pictures – completed: 31/12/2018
    Some of these were a little delayed, but we have all photos to accompany all of the milestones we had a card for… and unsurprisingly, they are super cute!
  12. Get back to running – completed: 29/06/2018
    So this has happened a couple of times… but on the 29th I started running to train for the 10km I did in the Melbourne Marathon Festival in October… since then I have slacked off again… but I have big plans for next year so watch this space.
  13. Take Isaac to parkrun at least 5times – completed: 22/12/2018
    We have not been to parkrun anywhere near as much as we should have been this year, but Isaac came to at least 5 of the runs I attended.  We really thought he would love running with us, but it turns out he finds it a little boring… but he does enjoy the trips to the park after.
  14. Go swimming – completed: 26/01/2018
  15. Go to the zoo – completed: 14/07/2018
    I have had this on my list for years… It is something that despite being on the list I have actively avoided doing.  In previous years I have done fun runs around the zoo a couple of times, I have also stopped to have pictures taken just out the front of the zoo… but this year I actually went in!  We had a cousin fun day at the zoo and saw all the animals.  Turns out going to the zoo is better than I remembered and much much more fun with a child… I have a feeling this won’t be our last trip to the zoo.
  16. Have a play date – completed: 16/10/2018
    We’ve been getting better at play dates… but the one that crossed it of the list was a play date with Isaac’s friend Jaylen, I was so nice to watch them play together… It was also nice to catch up with Jaylen’s mum Julia and eat delicious treats, I think I am going to be a fan of play dates.
  17. Check out a mums and bubs session – completed: 05/12/2018
  18. Check out the local library – completed: 31/01/2018
  19. Have a picnic – completed: 20/12/2018
    I probably haven’t mentioned enough how great my mother’s group has been, I have loved making some new local friends and sharing my mum journey with them.  Our little group finished the year off the year with a picnic in the park and it was fun.  It’s been so nice watching the bubs grow and learn together and I am very excited to see all that they achieve next year.
  20. Wear some non maternity jeans – completed: 13/07/2018
    We had a weekend away in the city… and I thought it was time… so I wore them once… and then put them back in the cupboard and forgot about them.  A little while later my favourite pair of maternity jeans ripped… so I decided it was time… I brought some new jeans that were more comfortable than my old pre-baby ones, ones that fit my new body shape a little better… just one of the many things I didn’t really think about before having babies… just how much my body would change… but you will be please… maybe… I am please that I can now honestly say I am more often than not wearing my new and very comfy non-maternity jeans.
  21. Go without games on my phone for at least 2 months – completed: 28/02/2018
  22. Work on my mornings
  23. Cook dinner regularly – completed: 21/08/2018
    This has been a fun new addition to my life… and I have discovered the key to getting me to cook regularly is just planning… If I know what I have to do and when, I am all in… but I have also discovered the opposite is true… no plan.. no dinner, not by me anyway.
  24. Keep getting closer
  25. Work on my steps game – completed: 31/12/2018
    Look… it hasn’t been a great improve… but my daily average steps is more at the end of the year than it was at the start.  I would love to say that I am averaging over 10000, but that would be a lie… my current average is just over 8000… so not terrible, but some room for improvement next year.
  26. Embrace life with the oxygen – completed: 30/01/2018
  27. Try weekly blogging – completed: 18/12/2018
    So I talked about this at the beginning of this blog… it just didn’t work the way I thought it would… I’ll have to come up with a new plan for next year.
  28. Keep the family in good supply of Isaac updates – completed: 31/12/2018
    It turns out this is more challenging that I had imagined… it’s a fine line to walk between super annoying and just enough.  I probably could have sent more, but I did send some updates fairly regularly… especially if we hit a milestone.
  29. Have a date night once a month
  30. Give Dave some time back – completed: 31/12/2018
    Well I asked him and he said ‘yeah, sure’ so I am taking that for a yep… and crossing it off the list.
  31. Embrace my independence – completed: 31/12/2018
    I haven’t always loved it, but I have been better at just trying things, going places and making the most of my time with Isaac… so technically not ‘independent’, but definitely ‘independent’ from Dave… so off it goes.
  32. Go without TV for a week
  33. Actually wash my car regularly
  34. Get the blue Kia repaired – completed: 20/02/2018
  35. Take Dex and Isaac on a walk, solo
  36. Walk to my MCH appointments – completed: 08/11/2018
    Our Maternal Child Health Nurse operates out of a centre about 500m from our house, so it is actually easier to walk to our appointments then get into the car and drive around… despite that, driving is always tempting… but don’t fret… I walked to them all.
  37. Thank the hospital – completed: 19/04/2018
  38. Do a fun run/walk – completed: 04/03/2018
  39. Play a game of some kind – completed: 07/01/2018
  40. Let something go – completed: 31/10/2018
    This was harder than I thought, I am a bit of a perfectionist, so letting things go isn’t a strong suit of mine.  This year I have tried my hand a few new things, mostly making things.  I have made some Christmas gifts and some things for Isaac.  During this process I have had to learn how to sew and stitch things, I have made things that I haven’t tried before and they are not perfect, but they are functional, I have had to learn to let the imperfections go and be happy with the progress I have made and the end products they have resulted in… I am pretty proud of my new skills…  and I will keep working on it… both making and letting things go.
  41. Remember Joshua – completed: 18/10/2018
    Remembering Josh is something that I find bitter sweet.  It’s hard to remember sometimes because there is now more that should have been than ever before.  It’s something that I want to do, but something that still carries pain.  This year he would have been 2… and we took Isaac with us to have pink donuts and turkish delight milkshakes, we let some balloons go and stopped to be thankful for what he taught us and what we have together.
  42. Celebrate the small things – completed: 22/05/2018
  43. Live oxygen free – completed: 24/12/2018
    Well we almost didn’t make it, but on Christmas eve we handed back all the Oxygen tanks and the concentrator.  We haven’t had the machine on or used a tank since October, but we had to wait and see before we handed it back, but now it’s gone and hopefully it doesn’t come back.
  44. Walk and have a mid week brunch date with Isaac at half half – completed: 12/12/2018
    I thought this would be super easy… so I left it for later in the year, for the middle months when it was harder to do other things on my list…. but then half half shut for months… and months… but good news, it reopened and Isaac and I went.  And in some listing miracle we ate our meals at the same time and no one cried.  It was actually really wonderful and something I am going to try to keep doing with him… turns out he can be a good cafe date.
  45. Join a mother’s group – completed: 30/01/2018
  46. Drink a bottle of water everyday
  47. Keep track of the things I am supposed to be doing – completed: 31/12/2018
    I am actually terrible at this, and could have done a much better job than I did, but I tried all year… man did I try… and I think it has been worth it despite the struggle.
  48. Plan at night
  49. Take a photo everyday – completed 31/12/2018
    You may have seen some of these across the year… (January, February, March, May, June, & October) and some of them didn’t make it…. but trust me they are all there in my phone… and they look good.
  50. Visit a museum / gallery – completed: 20/11/2018
    Just like the zoo, this is way more fun with kids.  We took Isaac to the museum, starting at the children’s section which he loved, but after a play we also checked out the rest and he seemed to also like that, lots of fun things to look at and explore.  I am really looking forward to taking him back her over and over again as he gets bigger.  I hope he loves learning as much as I do.
  51. Sort out my photo storage
  52. Scan the photos in
  53. Recycle the VHS tapes – completed: 25/09/2018
    This year I have found myself morphing into a bit of environmentalist… which I am actually really enjoying.  My own little war on waste is coming along nicely… with my new compost bin, our multiple bins for different types of recycling and our new found love of ‘Who Gives a Crap’ toilet paper.  But to make it even better we also found a local place that was willing to recycle our VHS tapes.  Unfortunately for them, they had to pull them all apart manually, but I don’t mind because as much of them as can be will be recycled.
  54. Read 6 books – novels… not picture books – completed: 17/11/2018
    I really wanted to be able to say I read way more than 6 books, but like my weekly blogs, it has been hard to find time to read… but I read 6 and I am reading number 7 at the moment… this will stay on my list and hopefully I will get better at finding time to read.
  55. Cross at least one thing off the list each month – completed: 05/12/2018
    Yep… at least one a month… this is a good thing to have on my list… I like the challenge and the spread.
  56. Be deliberate about filling the house with good thinks like flowers and music – completed: 01/11/2018
    I could have been better with this, but it’s a start, and it’s nice… I am also going to try and keep doing this.
  57. Edit and finalise Isaac’s logs and maybe publish them
  58. Make a photo book of Isaac’s 1st year – completed: 30/09/2018
    Again this was not quite what I had in mind when I popped this on the list, but I did make a book of Isaac’s 1st year, but I didn’t keep it, we gave it to Dave’s grandparents when we were in New Zealand.
  59. Return of the fit pig – completed: 31/05/2018
  60. Throw things out / recycle / donate – completed: 31/12/2018
    I am all over this, recycling, reusing and donating… I hate throwing things out and I have become quite the anti waste warrior.  This will continue long after this year’s list… the world needs it.
  61. Clean out the garage – completed: 10/11/2018
    Nothing makes me happier than when everything has a place and everything is in its place… and that’s how the garage is now… and it makes me happy… far happier than it should… there are even labels on all the boxes… it’s a magical thing.
  62. Finish the scrap books
  63. Finish Isaac’s room – completed: 16/01/2018
  64. Wear a real bra – completed: 07/04/2018
  65. Figure out how to be a working mum – completed: 10/08/2018
    As you can imagine this pretty much coincided with the end of my weekly blogs… just as I got us into a routine at home… I started working from home.  I am back 2 days a week this year and hopefully a little more next year… It’s been a strange adjustment, using my brain a little more regularly on things other than parenting and having a little more interaction with other adults.  I have really enjoyed going back, but I won’t lie.. 12 months without work was also really nice.
  66. Go somewhere with out Isaac – embrace the baby sitter – completed: 28/09/2018
    I’m still not totally comfortable doing this, but I know it needs to happen… and I have done it a few times…  I am sure it will get easier as time goes on and he gets bigger… but it’s still hard right now.
  67. Make a cake for Isaac’s first birthday – completed: 01/08/2018
    Oh man, was I proud of this… a blue monster cake for Isaac’s monster party… you should really check out the picture on the right… it looks pretty great.
  68. Go overseas – completed: 02/10/2018
    This really should have had a blog all of its own.  It was a wonderful wonderful trip where we got to hang out with family and Isaac was able to meet his great grandparents.  We went exploring, fed some ducks, touched the black sand and Isaac learnt to crawl while we were there… it was really really great.
  69. Make a Lolly cake – completed: 09/11/2018
    Inspired from our trip to New Zealand we had some more lolly cake… it’s a strange cake… super sweet and fun to look at… and it was made, and I still have more ingredients so we might need to make another.
  70. Keep the pantry and fridge under control – completed: 31/12/2018
    Except for perhaps the last couple weeks over Christmas, we have been pretty good at this… Dave should take most of the credit, but I have been trying… just like the garage, everything needs a place and everything should be in it’s place.
  71. Watch a Disney movie with Isaac – completed: 16/06/2018
  72. Add Isaac’s pendant to my necklace – completed: 22/01/2018
  73. Organise the casts we had done for Isaac – completed: 01/05/2018
    You would have thought this would have been an easy task… but it turns out the Lady that did these ones was much less helpful and reliable than the lady that did Josh’s casts… but we finally got them done and they turned out really well, despite the challenge… they aren’t hanging up yet… but they are framed and ready to go.
  74. Use the go-pro more
  75. Make my language child friendly
  76. Check out ArtVo – completed: 23/06/2018
  77. Finish the bible reading plan I started last year
  78. Exercise weekly… hopefully more, but at least weekly – completed: 31/12/2018
    Here’s the thing… it wasn’t every week… but on average it was weekly… there were some great weeks and some down weeks, but some weeks I smashed it… and there were less slack weeks than there were good weeks… so we are claiming this as a win.
  79. Make a key lime pie
  80. Purée some food – completed: 20/02/2018
  81. Have a spend nothing day once a month
  82. Make the most of our delivery saver – completed: 20/12/2018
    Only just, but we did save a tiny bit of money… turns out the bigger Isaac gets the easier it is to get groceries with him.. he can go in the trolley now… I am sure that it will probably get hard again in time though.  Either way, we used the delivery saver just enough to make it worth it.
  83. Get a mani/pedi and get a colour you’ve never had before – completed: 28/11/2018
    I love the idea of this… and all year I have been looking forward to it… but then I got stuck thinking about foot fungus and other people’s feet and couldn’t bring myself to go and get it done.  So I gave myself a foot spa at home and painted my toes… and decided that I could cross this off the list.
  84. Get a massage – completed: 21/12/2018
    Seriously I know I say this every year… but I should do this more often… it is soooooo nice.  Thanks pheebs for my voucher that made this happen.
  85. Do a Mums and bubs exercise class – completed: 19/04/2018
    Isaac and I attended a mums and bubs exercise class for most of the year and we loved it.  We stopped at the beginning of term 4 because it just got too hard to make work… but it was great while it lasted.
  86. Get some kind of routine – completed: 31/12/2018
    It keeps changing, but we do have a routine of sorts… we’ve worked out meals and naps and bed time all pretty consistently… and I won’t lie… I love the structure.
  87. Contribute – completed: 31/12/2018
    I would have been pretty ashamed if I hadn’t been able to achieve this… especially given that I have spent a lot of this year at home.  I think spending so much time at home has really helped me get on and do some house work because I have to live in the mess I create… and it turns out I am pretty intolerant of my own mess.  This item on the list that is a win win for Davo.
  88. Hang up the pump – completed: 08/04/2018
  89. Update some photo wall photos – completed: 04/01/2018
  90. Get the pictures framed
  91. Hang out with my besties – completed: 08/01/2018
  92. See Coco – completed: 06/01/2018
  93. Have a meal with all of our parents and siblings (separately) – completed: 31/12/2018
    I was terrible at documenting these meals… but they happened… you’ll just have to trust me.
  94. Have an ice coffee at 3 different places – completed: 03/02/2018
  95. Touch the ocean – completed: 10/03/2018
  96. Have a fun fight
  97. Fix my computer – completed: 02/01/2018
  98. Wear something other than a black T-shirt for a whole week – completed: 20/01/2018
  99. Keep our bedroom tidy – completed: 31/12/2018
    There was some contention over whether I achieved this or not… but I have actively kept the room tidier than I did the 12months before… but maybe not as tidy as I could have.
  100. Save some money

So that was my list… not a bad effort really… 79/100… Not quite my best year… but certainly not my worst.  But how did Isaac go with his list I hear you ask… well lets take a look:

  1. Try some food – completed: 16/02/2018
  2. Ditch my oxygen – completed: 24/12/2018
    Isaac was also the beneficiary of our Christmas miracle… although he really ditched his oxygen in october, we couldn’t make it official until the tanks and machines were gone.
  3. Sit up by myself – completed: 22/06/2018
  4. Suck on my toes – completed: 30/12/2018
    And it was forced… turns out he just isn’t that interested in his toes… I thought all babies loved this, but I was wrong… maybe it was the time he spent in his brace… maybe he just doesn’t like his feet… who knows?
  5. Go to the park – completed: 07/10/2018
    We have been to a few parks this year, but the one that crossed this of the list was a special park in Whanganui, one that Dave went to as a little boy, an amazing park along the whanganui river… it is seriously epic and I think we will go back here as often as we can.
  6. Pat Dex – completed: 23/11/2018
    Dex and Isaac are still working each other out… sometimes they just want to be near each other… other times they need to be far far away.  Dex likes to visit and lick Isaac… but Dex does not like to be touched by Isaac… they’ll work it out eventually.
  7. Have a party – completed 04/08/2018
    This should have had a blog of its own too… it was an epic party with balloons and donuts, friends and family… but when your first year was a rough as Isaac’s, it’s worth celebrating!
  8. Visit my friends at Monash Children’s – completed: 10/04/2018
  9. Go on a fun run/Walk in my pram – completed: 04/03/2018
  10. Get around on my own – completed: 03/10/2018
    There is nothing that makes a parent feel more relaxed about being on holidays than a baby deciding its time to crawl the second you get off the plane… no baby proofing… no safe spaces… random hotel carpets… yep… it’s wonderful.  What makes it even more wonderful, is when the newly mobile baby also likes to lick the floor… we should just go ahead and insert a huge face palm right here.
  11. Go for a swim – completed: 27/12/2018
    We have been a bit slack with swimming lessons… we will get to it, but we haven’t yet, so instead we have had to wait until the weather warmed… after a few failed pool attempts, we finally won with a swim at the beach… he is not totally convinced… but we will get there.
  12. Try story time at the library – completed: 31/01/2018
  13. Make some baby friends – completed: 10/04/2018
    I know I have talked about Isaac’s baby friends… well my mother’s group a lot in other blogs…. but not in this context… Isaac is lucky enough to have lots of friends… and this includes the little gang of 7 we hang out with each week at mothers group.
  14. Go on an adventure with Dad – completed: 29/10/2018
    Isaac and Dave have been on a few adventures because Dave likes to run errands when he is in charge… but the adventure that crossed this off the list was a trip up the 1000steps… with Isaac in the baby bjorn…
  15. Sleep through the night – completed: 01/03/2018
  16. Get some teeth – completed: 26/11/2018
    I thought this might never happen… It feels like we have been waiting for teeth forever… but we had to wait until November for the first little tooth to pop through, now we have 3 with maybe more on the way… well hopefully a lot more… but I think another will be here very soon.
  17. Watch a Disney movie with Mum – completed: 16/06/2018
  18. Have brunch with my ladies – completed: 08/01/2018
  19. Go to the beach – completed: 10/03/2018
  20. Learn a word – completed: 23/11/2018
    About 5minutes after we left the pediatrician who would have liked him to have a least one word, Isaac said Dad in the car on the way home… he really likes to do things in his own time.
  21. Cuddle all of my grandparents and great grandparents – completed: 03/10/2018
    This was the main reason for our trip to New Zealand, for Isaac to meet his great grandparents… it was just as magical as we would have hoped.  Before we went overseas he also got cuddles with all his other grandparents… He has 11 grands and greats all up… he is a very loved little guy.
  22. Make a keepsake – completed: 11/05/2018
  23. Go on a plane – completed: 08/06/2018
  24. Try my jolly jumper – completed: 30/05/2018
  25. Grow – completed: 31/12/2018
    Lets face it, we could have crossed this off on January 2… this guy has been growing all year like a champ!

So there you go… he finished his whole list… maybe it’s beginners luck… maybe he is just better at listing than me… I guess we will find out in 2019.

30 things before 31

Somehow it is my birthday again tomorrow… a whole year has apparently gone by since I last wrote a post like this.  But this birthday feels different and I am not really sure why… usually I start my birthday blogs talking about how I don’t really feel ready to switch over to the next age… but this year I just don’t really feel that fussed about it, which is really strange.  It is super odd… since I was 17, I have had a love hate relationship with birthdays, but now as I turn 31… it suddenly doesn’t feel like such a big deal.  Maybe I have finally grown up? Maybe I am still in denial about being 30 at all… but either way its nice not to be upset about it.

Each year I like to take just a minute (although it seems to be getting longer as I add more and more years) to stop and reflect on how the past year has shaped who I am now.  Things that I have loved, learned or just lived during year 30… 30 of them, before 30 becomes 31 tomorrow.

  1. 30 wasn’t so bad… it happened and the sky didn’t fall, I didn’t fall apart… in fact it was kinda nice
  2. I finally feel like an adult… I know I have been one for a long time now, but I feel like I am actually living an adult life now… trying to save money, considering my long term health, fixing things at home and being more comfortable in my skin.
  3. My body is my body… it’s far from perfect, but it’s done some pretty great things, it may never be the body I want, but it’s the body I am most comfortable in.
  4. Sometimes the things you fear the most, aren’t the things you should have been worried about
  5. It turns out my boys like to come fast and very very early… neither traits they get from me
  6. We live in a country that is incredibly blessed with amazing health care and hospitals
  7. There is a place for coffee in my life, and after years of being an exclusive tea drinker… I am now partial to the latte… I would imagine it’s the sleep deprivation.
  8. Even when you think you have had all you can take… there is usually more, and you learn you are stronger still.
  9. God is good, all the time… and his plans are better, even when you think yours a pretty great.
  10. Isaac is the toughest kid I have ever met
  11. I will do anything to hear a baby giggle, especially if it is my baby
  12. Best laid plans are now a pie in the sky kind of goal… yet I continue to make them anyway
  13. I like making improvements on my house… but the greatest home improvements are when everything has a place in the room in which it belongs… it turns out I am a house micro manager
  14. Banana bread is from heaven
  15. Babies are hard to take selfies with
  16. Motherhood means getting to join a gang of incredible women who you can talk to about anything even if you’ve never met before
  17. You can sit in the same chair all day every day for months if it is with the ones you love
  18. Babies grow fast, sometimes they only wear clothes once, although you can get so much joy from putting a child in a seasonal costume.
  19. Tiny face-washers save many things at many times
  20. Life goes fast… you should always celebrate the small things
  21. Turkish delight milkshakes and pink donuts will forever be sacred
  22. People are good more often they are not, and we are surrounded by so many people who love us and truely do want us to thrive and succeed
  23. Being a mum is better than I could have ever comprehended, although it comes with its own bag of guilt and expectations that I am continually trying to work through and balance
  24. Breastmilk is magic… not just for the baby, but for the mum who can offer nothing else to a baby in NICU… even long after they have left… although not pumping today for the first time in 8 and bit months was acutally really nice.
  25. I am married to the most patient, servant hearted man I have ever met… he has kept us going, kept us fed and kept the house functional… he is also an epic dad and has actually been doing the majority (like at least 85%) of the overnight feeds solo.
  26. I can’t stop crying… everything pulls at my heart strings.  This week I cry at every happy story at the commonwealth games… so many tears it is embarrassing… and don’t you dare show my a picture of a baby in hospital, I will not cope.
  27. I am looking forward to a year of not being pregnant and eating all of the foods (in moderation of course)
  28. I am pretty sure I am addicted to my phone and social media… maybe 31 is the year to get this under control because real life is definitely more satisfying.
  29. Hail does a lot more damage than I had realised….
  30. Even though I am further away from a lot of the goals I had over the last couple of years, I feel like I am simplifying and making way for other goals which somehow now seem more significant, even though they wouldn’t have previously made the cut… I think this is another sign that maybe I have just started growing up.

Thanks 30, you have certainly been another challenging year, but you have also brought a lot of joy and wonder, lets hope 31 is just as joyful, but less dramatic… I feel like my 30s could be my best years yet.

Five Minute Friday: Privilege

Ok it’s been a long time since I have done one of these… almost a whole year… but I figured if I want to be deliberate about keeping my blog going with a baby… five minutes was a good place to start… and it comes with no other pressure than the clock… which is good… and necessary.  Anyway, if you want to know more about Five Minute Fridays you can click that link just a few words back, or you can look at the last one I did here.   Ok… 5 minutes here we go.

Privilege

Ok… firstly I don’t think I knew how to spell privilege before this… I am pretty sure I have been doing it wrong… thank goodness for auto correct.

Privilege is a word that has been getting a lot more air time than ever before… and I think it is one that I have been thinking a lot more, about my own privilege, the things I get to do just because of the circumstances I was born into… and I often find it overwhelming.  But that’s not the kind of privilege I really want to talk about… because as I sit here typing this my little boy is asleep next to me and he has me thinking about what a privilege it is to be his mum.

Privilege can be defined as “a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most”…. It’s a good thing, something enjoyable beyond the advantages of anyone else but sometimes I lose the enjoyment part because being his mum is also a huge responsibility.  I get to help shape this little man as he grows, teach him, guide him and help him.  There is a verse in Proverbs (Proverbs 22:6) that says “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” and that’s what I am aiming for… There are so many things that I would like for him, things that I hope to teach him, things I hope to show him and things I hope to watch him achieve… and in that sometimes I feel overwhelmed… because I want to do a good job, and lead him in the ‘right’ way.  But when I get caught up in the responsibility I lose sight of the incredible privilege it is… the fact that while trying to lead him in the way of the Lord, I also get to know him probably better than anyone else on earth ever will… I am his person… and while my role might change as he grows… it can’t be taken away, I am always going to be his mum and that, right there is the privilege.  I get to share in his joys, his sorrows, his challenges and his achievements.  His victories are my victories.  At least for the next little bit we will do it all together… and that is an amazing thought… that is privilege.

 

29 things before 30

So tomorrow I turn 30… and just like every other birthday for at least the last 10 years I am not excited about getting another year over… but this year I feel a little more ready for it.  30 has been something that has been looming for a while… 30 years in fact, but more so in the past 12 months.  Something that I have spent a lot of time thinking about and something that I have finally decided won’t be as bad as I think it will be.  So I thought I would continue my new tradition (from last year) to take a moment before it happens to reflect on the year that was 29 before it is gone altogether.  But before I can reflect on the last 12 months… because 30 is also the end of a decade… it only seems right to look at the last 10 years as well…

20-30 is a big time of change… a lot of growing up… and while I don’t think I have being an adult down pat yet, I certainly feel more like an adult than a young adult.  I am not sure if it’s my new found love of a quiet night in? Or my change in thinking around having to stand up and make a change if I don’t like something… but I feel like where I am at now, even though it may not be where I am forever, is an achievement…

20-30 has also been home to some of my happiest times as well as my most challenging…  I have changed and grown, physically, mentally and spiritually.  And while I wish I hadn’t grown quite as much physically… unless I could have gained some extra height… I am thankful for the lessons I have learned and the paths I have taken that have made my faith and mind stronger.

I have done so much in my 20s that I am not sure how my 30s will catch up, but I hope that they do… although, I am hoping our hardest path has already be walked… and the rocky patches ahead will not be quite as devastating.

Since I turned 20 I have…

  • Completed… well attempted to complete my very first list (2007) and since attempted 8 more… I am currently on my 9th
  • Returned to China to hang out with Dad and cross ‘Hong Kong Disney Land’ off my life long Disney visit bucket list (2007)
  • Had my life outlook changed by a uni placement to Bourke (2008)
  • Had 2 massive 21st parties
  • Finished my Bachelor of Nutrition and Dietetics (2008)
  • Started running the Kids Church at Church and had the most epic YP Anniversary of all time with ‘Talkin’ about my generation’ (2009)
  • Continued my red dirt obsession with trips to Broken Hill (2009) and Uluru (2016)
  • Got a job in the country… Castlemaine to be exact… moved out of home and spent a year blogging about it (2009-2010)
  • Had my 5 year and 10 year High School Reunions (2009 & 2014)
  • Starred in Box Hill Salvos “Nativity Play’
  • Got my first iPhone
  • Ran 2 Half Marathons (2008 & 2013)
  • Meet a cute little guy named Dex… and he moved in (2009)
  • Bought my first new car and said goodbye to my faithful Saabie (2010)
  • Experienced some snapshots of Europe… first with the Big Band in Sweden in 2010… then with Davo in 2015/2016
  • Got Engaged (2010) and Married my very own Prince Charming (2011)
  • Auditioned for Broadway (2010)
  • Visited Disneyworld with my new Husband (2011)
  • Visited NZ and my NZ family a couple of times (2012 & 2014/2015)
  • Watched one of my little brothers get married (2012)
  • Said goodbye to my second job as a Dietitian and moved to my current workplace at Link, where I have been able to expand my dietetics skills in to Marketing and IT (2013)
  • Been Bridesmaid for 2 of my best friends (2014 and here)
  • Brought my first house (2014)
  • Graduated from uni twice… one for dietetics and then again for my teaching degree (2014)
  • Watched both of my parents get remarried (2014, 2015)
  • Worked out how to long distance best friend (2015)
  • Recorded my first CD… well sung vocals on a Big Band CD (2017)
  • Became a mum and had to say goodbye to my little man (2016)
  • Got back up (2017)

A big 10 years… but I think the past 12 months have challenged who I am at my core more than any year before and I think lots of the things that I have done over the past decade have somehow prepared me for what happened…  But there has also been lots to be thankful for and I have learnt a lot… so in my new tradition… here are 29 things I have learned, loved and lived in the past year that have helped me prepare for 30…

  1. Birthdays are excellent… No matter how much I have been nervous about embracing them… they are always fun… especially when Dave helps to plan them… tomorrow will be good.
  2. Epic milkshakes are indeed epic… and often overwhelming, they should be consumed with caution… and preferably with no other sources of lactose.
  3. Having a celebrity like a post… even if they are a fake one… is more exciting than it should be… they are just people…but it was Russell Coight
  4. Dave makes driving a bus look grand
  5. Trimester 1 of pregnancy is the worst… it is hard keeping a secret, especially a when you feel like poop and you have to convince everyone else you are fine… lets hope that the next one is somehow easier.
  6. Jells Park is way more beautiful than I ever gave it credit for growing up… I am really glad that it is my local Parkrun venue.
  7. Dex looks great in a bow tie
  8. Family is messy and hard to fit on a wall, but I wouldn’t change any of it
  9. Pregnancy cravings are weird… but turkish delight milkshakes are the bomb
  10. Having Josh was the best thing I have ever done, but it was also the hardest knowing he wouldn’t stay.  Even if I knew what would happen I wouldn’t have swapped those 24weeks for anything.
  11. Colouring really is as good a distraction as they say it is…
  12. I still love my list, and I am really enjoying the simplicity of it this year, lots of local fun.
  13. 29 has been a year of home, embracing family, learning to breathe and dreaming for the future.
  14. This time last year I wrote ‘I am stronger and more capable then I think… I should remember this more often’, this is more true now then ever before.
  15. Whatsapp is great, but seeing your bestie face to face is greater, especially when you have time off to be able spend with them.
  16. I like being in the IT and Marketing teams… I also really like teaching.  I am pretty blessed to work for such great places that encourage me to grow and learn new skills.
  17. Dancing in a strawberry suit isn’t as embarrassing as you think it will be, you should just embrace it.
  18. Dave is still the best person to have ever entered my life.  He is strong, wise and loyal and I love him more than ever… plus he gets even better looking with age… who would have thought that was possible.
  19. I am getting better at throwing things out… lots of times you have to get rid of something old to make way for the new.  I don’t need to be a hoarder to keep the memories.
  20. I have good people around me, my community if vast and wide and I often take it for granted, but Dave and I could not have gotten through the last 6 months without them.
  21. I love the country
  22. I love the AFLW and I am glad I was part of the first season.
  23. I love singing in a recording studio… it makes me feel like a superstar.
  24. New cameras are the bomb… but I desperately need to improve my photography skills.
  25. Practicing gratitude is important… my new daily habit of writing down 3 things is helpful… it’s making me see the good… I should keep this going because I still can’t make happiness, or just choose to be happy, but I can choose to fill my life with people, things and places that make me happy, I can choose to see the good and I can choose to seek better.
  26. I still love blogging… and I think I am getting better at it… I suppose that’s the plus side of honesty.
  27. I love to worship… I love learning about worship and I love Jesus… He is the only one worthy of my worship.
  28. My plans for my life might be good, but as hard as it is to accept sometimes, His ways are better.  Life often seems unfair sometimes and we can’t always see the bigger picture… but we have to trust.
  29. I am still getting better at looking after myself, but just like last year I still have a long way to go… but this remains a top priority.  I can’t do what I am called to do, if I can’t function.

29 you have been a challenge, you have been hard, but you have been worth it all… in fact 20s you have been great… better than I had ever hoped and totally different from what I expected.

I am holding on to the promise that my 30s will bring better things… I hope that I continue to learn more, love more and live more… 30 I am now ready for you.

Five Minute Friday: Abandon

Woah… it’s late Friday night And I almost forgot to post my YAY!!!  It’s Friday Five minute Friday!  If you have no idea what than means… well firstly welcome… and secondly you can read about it with the hyperlink above… or you can read my last one here…

Today’s prompt is abandon… and I have 5 minutes to write about it… no guidelines, no pressure (other than the clock…) but just a reason to post something… here we go

Abandon

So… the prompt is here and I am lost for words… abandon is such a loaded word, such a heavy word… yet thankfully one that I don’t really understand in full. I don’t think there has ever been a time I have ever felt abandoned… I am blessed, I have been surrounded by good, loving people all my life… I belong… I am not alone… I also know the one who knows me best… I know I am never alone because I walk with Jesus.
Yet there is another type of abandon that keeps popping into my mind as I type… the type of abandonment the Hillsong song ‘The Stand’ takes about:

‘I’ll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned,

In awe of the one who gave it all,

I stand, my soul lord to you surrendered

All I am is yours’

An abandonment by choice, a decision to walk away from my desires and to step into His with no other agenda…

I guess I wasn’t lost for words after all… I am thankful not to be abandoned and to be able to stand abandoned from the world in His glory…

Five Minute Friday: Purpose

YAY!!!  It’s Friday which means it’s also Five minute Friday time!  If you have no idea what than means… well firstly welcome to my blog… and secondly you can read about it with the hyperlink above… or you can read my last one here

Today’s prompt is Purpose… and I have 5 minutes to write about it… no guidelines, no pressure (other than the clock…) but just a reason to post something… hope you get as much enjoyment out of what I write as I do writing it.

Purpose

I really like when God is super obvious and everything just lines up… all the prompts, all the teaching and all the songs… that has been my experience this week and I shouldn’t have been that surprised when I saw what today’s prompt was… because this word has been one of the key themes of my week this week… I have used other words for it like… intentional, deliberate, goal and plan… But really they are all the same.

This week I have been super challenged to do two things… 1. Give all of my plans over to God, because even if mine are good… His will be better and 2. I need to live with purpose.  I need to be an intentional kingdom bringer and I need to seek him deliberately.

These aren’t new concepts to me by any stretch, but they are the ones that I constantly need reminding of.  I often try and do it all my self, I think I know best and often think that if my plans and purpose are good (according to me and often the Word) then I am set… but my good isn’t always God’s.  His calling and purpose are far greater than I will probably ever understand… but that’s what I need to seek and I need to do it with purpose.  I need to be intentional, even when it is hard and my good plans aren’t the course my life seems to be taking.

I need to pursue my purpose with purpose.  I am called to be set apart, I am called to bring the kingdom and above all I am called to love, because he first loved me.

Five Minute Friday: Slow

It’s Friday… I am home from work and it is time for my Five minute Friday (if you want more info you can read all about it here, or you can read my last one here)… Today’s prompt is slow… and just like always I have 5 minutes to write about it… no guidelines, no pressure (other than the clock…) but just a reason to post something.

Slow

There are three things that came immediately to my mind when I saw today’s prompt…

1.  I am slow… I am not a sportsman by any stretch of the imagination and slow is the category of all things physical I feel most comfortable in.  I am not particularly sad about this… it’s just the way it is and that is ok.

2. I need more slow… while I was on extended leave from work life slowed down, the daily stress and pressure of work… well even just having to attend a job was no longer part of my routine and I had time to do odd jobs, clean things out, take my time and enjoy some simple pleasures… like having a leisurely breakfast on our back deck… Now that I am back into real life… I want desperately to get more slow in my life… I want to extend my summer feeling of less, relaxing and taking my time.  I know some of this is unrealistic… but surely I can find a better balance than all or nothing.  I need more slow.

3. And… while I was thinking about no. 2 as I typed my intro, the lyrics of one of my favourite worship songs popped into my head.  They have been and continue to be a constant reminder to slow down…  It is a song that has come out of Bethel Church… I am not really sure who wrote it, but the version I have is sung by Kristene DiMarco (I think it her’s… and I am hanging out for her/them to releases it)… these are the lyrics:

Slow down, take time
Breath in, he said
He’d reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in his mind
Always higher than mine
He’ll reveal all to come

Take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
Hold on to your hope
As your triumph unfold
He’s never-failing
He’s never-failing

Sing praise, my soul
Find strength in joy
Let his words lead you on
Do not forget his great faithfulness
He’ll finish all he’s begun

And you who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep your promise to me
That I will rise in your victory

What a great reminder… Take courage, slow down, He has got this… I am not sure why all of these Five Minute Friday’s have ended up being about my faith journey… but I am glad they have… I needed this reminder again today….

I will leave this Five Minute Friday with a the video of the song… maybe take some time, like I will be once I push post, to stop and just soak in the lyrics and His goodness… May your weekend be filled with the best kind of slowness…

Five Minute Friday: Weak

Ok so last week I forgot… but not this week, no this week  I am ready for my Five minute Friday (if you want more info you can read all about it here, or you can read my first one here)… Today’s prompt is weak… and I have 5 minutes to write about it… no guidelines, no pressure (other than the clock…) but just a reason to post something.

Weak

Weak is a word, a label and a feeling that makes me uncomfortable, it is something that I am always avoiding… I never want to look weak, unless of course I am playing the role of damsel in distress, in which case it is totally ok to look, well act, weak.

Weakness is vulnerability, out of control and frightening.  Weakness is seen to be less, damaged, unwanted, broken.

Weakness is not good enough.

Weak is something that I have learnt to embrace, to be ok with, to use as a guide for what happens next.  Over the last couple of months I have been weak, and I have felt all of the things that I listed above… but in my weakness I have found strength, hope and grace.  I have found love and support and I have found ‘ok’.

When I try to be strong all of the time I inevitably fail, I can not do life in my own strength.  Until now I never really understood the verse in 2 Corinthians 12:10 that says “for when I am weak, then I am strong”.  But now I know… I can hold on because He is strong, I can live in hope because He is in control, and I can pour out my love and my pain because His grace and love are more than sufficient.

So while I am getting used to the idea that I am not as strong as I thought I was, I am learning.. I can be strong and courageous, in fact, I am actually the strongest, because He is my God, and I am with Him.